The runt survives, and when the rest of the pups grow and move on she stays with Sandy. He names her Ruth, trains her to trust him like a brother. She sleeps curled next to them at night -- more than once Joshua has been awakened by huffs of heady wet breath against his face.
Sandy's grown fluent in the Dead Horses language, has formed relationships within the tribe. Joshua occasionally catches one of them appreciating his fine form with a quick sweep of the eyes, and in the back of his mind he's always ready for the conversation that never comes, for Sandy's gentle expression as he tries to explain what Joshua already knows, that he needs more than this.
Because for as much as Joshua cherishes his devotion, he has trouble fathoming it, still. He has dreams. Despite his attempts to ascend beyond the primal urges it entails, he is still a man, and sometimes when he rests he gains his old skin back, lays with his love without pain as they treasure each other's flesh.
Something had changed after the night Sandy undressed for him. The two of them alone in a dimly lit cave, utterly silent save for the crackle of torchfire and the muted schiff of clothing, Sandy's body softly illuminated in shades of red and amber as he tentatively exposed every swell and shadow of his body, his eyes locked on Joshua's as he shed every piece of clothing. Joshua's gaze alternated between holding his and wandering his form, a longing pull in his chest as his eyes savored the firm curve of Sandy's stomach, the hard dip in his hipbones, the solid build of his thighs.
"There is a world of lovers waiting for you out there," he breathes now as they lay beside one another, Ruth's slumbering head resting on Sandy's belly.
Sandy's fingers slow where they are idly scratching at Ruth's ears, and he turns his head to look at Joshua. "Every time I think we're past this--"
"I'm not wallowing in it," Joshua cuts in. "But it's... difficult to drive from my mind."
"An' that's what you think I want?" Sandy asks softly, without accusation or offense. "A 'world of lovers' over something real with you?"
Joshua doesn't answer, and Sandy shifts beside him, turning onto his side and propping his head up with one hand. He simply looks at Joshua until the man will meet his eyes. "Let me tell you about my first time in Zion," he says. deep voice steady and quiet in that way that burrows warm under Joshua's skin. "When we got here, I honestly had trouble believin' it was real. I've only ever known the wastes, an' I seen plenty of it but never seen any place that stirred me like this. I always thought I couldn't never settle, y'know, couldn't just stay in one place. An' then I was in this place I didn't wanna ever leave. Place that moved me.
"That's when I knew that I found home. Somethin' I never really thought would happen, but I knew, I could travel to any beautiful place in the whole damn world and no matter what, it'd be in the back of my mind that Zion was here, an' I wasn't. That I had found my home an' left it."
Joshua remains utterly silent through this, and Sandy swallows around his honesty. "And in a lot of ways, that's how I feel about you."
M!Courier/Joshua Graham - What the Fire Gave Us [3a/3]
Sandy's grown fluent in the Dead Horses language, has formed relationships within the tribe. Joshua occasionally catches one of them appreciating his fine form with a quick sweep of the eyes, and in the back of his mind he's always ready for the conversation that never comes, for Sandy's gentle expression as he tries to explain what Joshua already knows, that he needs more than this.
Because for as much as Joshua cherishes his devotion, he has trouble fathoming it, still. He has dreams. Despite his attempts to ascend beyond the primal urges it entails, he is still a man, and sometimes when he rests he gains his old skin back, lays with his love without pain as they treasure each other's flesh.
Something had changed after the night Sandy undressed for him. The two of them alone in a dimly lit cave, utterly silent save for the crackle of torchfire and the muted schiff of clothing, Sandy's body softly illuminated in shades of red and amber as he tentatively exposed every swell and shadow of his body, his eyes locked on Joshua's as he shed every piece of clothing. Joshua's gaze alternated between holding his and wandering his form, a longing pull in his chest as his eyes savored the firm curve of Sandy's stomach, the hard dip in his hipbones, the solid build of his thighs.
"There is a world of lovers waiting for you out there," he breathes now as they lay beside one another, Ruth's slumbering head resting on Sandy's belly.
Sandy's fingers slow where they are idly scratching at Ruth's ears, and he turns his head to look at Joshua. "Every time I think we're past this--"
"I'm not wallowing in it," Joshua cuts in. "But it's... difficult to drive from my mind."
"An' that's what you think I want?" Sandy asks softly, without accusation or offense. "A 'world of lovers' over something real with you?"
Joshua doesn't answer, and Sandy shifts beside him, turning onto his side and propping his head up with one hand. He simply looks at Joshua until the man will meet his eyes. "Let me tell you about my first time in Zion," he says. deep voice steady and quiet in that way that burrows warm under Joshua's skin. "When we got here, I honestly had trouble believin' it was real. I've only ever known the wastes, an' I seen plenty of it but never seen any place that stirred me like this. I always thought I couldn't never settle, y'know, couldn't just stay in one place. An' then I was in this place I didn't wanna ever leave. Place that moved me.
"That's when I knew that I found home. Somethin' I never really thought would happen, but I knew, I could travel to any beautiful place in the whole damn world and no matter what, it'd be in the back of my mind that Zion was here, an' I wasn't. That I had found my home an' left it."
Joshua remains utterly silent through this, and Sandy swallows around his honesty. "And in a lot of ways, that's how I feel about you."