(Original a!a- if the others won't write it, I will.)
Title: The Only Way to Win Characters: Pretty much everyone Relationships: Het and slash Kinks: Crack, robosex Series: Mojave Rapelord (I am so, so sorry) Warnings: While there is no actual noncon in this story, the term "Mojave Rapelord" is thrown around a lot, and Vulpes being a creepy, sexist bastard is played for laughs. I know it's all tasteless, and I don't want to trigger anyone.
New Vegas was the place to be, and for the Courier, it provided the most pleasant existence she had imagined possible in the desert. Sure, she had to earn her keep with Mr. House by going out and performing life-threatening jobs, but she could always take her time. On a brisk New Vegas night with a starry sky, the future of the wasteland was the last thing on her mind.
She wasn't the only one in a good mood, either. Boone was curled up on one of the couches with Cass, telling her that she was the only one who truly understood him, and Cass was using it as an opportunity to feel him up. The Tops was loud with a party being thrown for Butch Deloria, who was telling fans about the time he totally banged that Paladin chick. As for the Courier herself, she'd spent the night with the King, and still had a bounce in her step as she walked back home.
It was because of her good mood that she didn't notice Vulpes Inculta until he was face to face with her.
"What is the meaning of this?" he snarled.
"Um...what?"
"Ask anyone in the Mojave and they will tell you that I have ravished more maidens and terrorized more wives than the rest of the desert combined!"
There really wasn't much you could say to that. The Courier tried her best anyway.
"...good for you?"
"And yet you and the other conquered females remain with the former title-holder! I know the match was a fraud- that greased peacock could never truly vanquish a woman as I or the sniper can!"
The Courier had a sinking feeling she knew where this was going.
"Is this about that Mojave Rapelord thing? Are people still talking about that?"
"Relay this to your master: I challenge him and his supposed successor! There will be no false match this time, and the winner will claim the spoils!"
As Vulpes turned and marched away, the Courier had only one thought in her head.
The Only Way to Win 1/?
Title: The Only Way to Win
Characters: Pretty much everyone
Relationships: Het and slash
Kinks: Crack, robosex
Series: Mojave Rapelord (I am so, so sorry)
Warnings: While there is no actual noncon in this story, the term "Mojave Rapelord" is thrown around a lot, and Vulpes being a creepy, sexist bastard is played for laughs. I know it's all tasteless, and I don't want to trigger anyone.
New Vegas was the place to be, and for the Courier, it provided the most pleasant existence she had imagined possible in the desert. Sure, she had to earn her keep with Mr. House by going out and performing life-threatening jobs, but she could always take her time. On a brisk New Vegas night with a starry sky, the future of the wasteland was the last thing on her mind.
She wasn't the only one in a good mood, either. Boone was curled up on one of the couches with Cass, telling her that she was the only one who truly understood him, and Cass was using it as an opportunity to feel him up. The Tops was loud with a party being thrown for Butch Deloria, who was telling fans about the time he totally banged that Paladin chick. As for the Courier herself, she'd spent the night with the King, and still had a bounce in her step as she walked back home.
It was because of her good mood that she didn't notice Vulpes Inculta until he was face to face with her.
"What is the meaning of this?" he snarled.
"Um...what?"
"Ask anyone in the Mojave and they will tell you that I have ravished more maidens and terrorized more wives than the rest of the desert combined!"
There really wasn't much you could say to that. The Courier tried her best anyway.
"...good for you?"
"And yet you and the other conquered females remain with the former title-holder! I know the match was a fraud- that greased peacock could never truly vanquish a woman as I or the sniper can!"
The Courier had a sinking feeling she knew where this was going.
"Is this about that Mojave Rapelord thing? Are people still talking about that?"
"Relay this to your master: I challenge him and his supposed successor! There will be no false match this time, and the winner will claim the spoils!"
As Vulpes turned and marched away, the Courier had only one thought in her head.
Not this shit again...