His questions—all of them—are unending in their desperation and number; at his desk, on patrol, at dinner (when she isn’t sitting across the table from him, her socked toes brushing up and down his shin). He feels stupid and sluggish for not knowing what this girl is doing, for not understanding why he isn’t standing up for himself and his marriage.
Nothing has happened, of course. No. She merely makes eyes at him when no one is looking, touches him chastely beneath tables and in passing glances. She is toying with him and that’s what he hates the most. Because it’s working.
He hates her deeply, for she knows that he is married, knows that he loves Pepper and his son with all his heart. She knows that Freddie is mad for her; Kate can see it as well as anyone on the outside can, no matter how much she deflects his weak advances.
Yet she persists with Herman; Kate is always there when his thoughts drift to her—in the diner, around the corner, passing by the Security office with Amata, that darkly lupine look in her eyes.
Herman wonders why, why this good girl suddenly found an interest in him; a married and very much older man. He’s her father’s age, God damn it, and that only serves to spur her on more.
He wants to burn the images of Kate from his head, the ones he has conjured for himself in darker moments. He wants to only see Pepper in his mind—like he used to not so many years ago.
Now Pepper fades to grey even when beneath him at night, her breath in his ear and her body seething and pliant around him.
Herman began to think about Kate in those times, about how much stamina resides in those young muscles, of how she seems poured into her vault suit instead of stuffed in, of how her smile is real and huge and happy…
He has followed her tonight, waiting until she left Freddie and Amata at the diner before falling in behind her through the winding vault halls—he began taking the night patrols in a desperate attempt to avoid her ever-watching eyes during the day. It doesn’t work for long; Pepper blabs about his change in shift over Kate’s 18th birthday dinner at the Doc’s apartment.
Herman remembers Kate’s expression so clearly: the look in her eyes was so amused and heated and… predatory. They are the eyes he sees at night, when his wife is shivering beneath him.
He momentarily loses sight of Kate when she takes an unexpected turn towards the stairs leading down to the… is she going towards the Storage Room?
There is a brief moment, as he is ducking under the door and punching in the lock-code, that he wonders what he is planning to do with her.
To finally take her like she has been leading him to do? He wants to, desperately, to get the dirt and grime of her from his mind.
To confront her? He should, he wants that too, because he is tired. So tired of being confused and disgusted by the girl, by himself; of wondering what she wants from him and what will happen if he gives it to her.
To… Hurt her? He hates it, but yes, he wants that as well. She has hurt him, too deeply to say, and she will hurt Freddie. His son.
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timeasmymeasure
Criminal 3a/?
Date: 2012-07-18 11:00 pm (UTC)His questions—all of them—are unending in their desperation and number; at his desk, on patrol, at dinner (when she isn’t sitting across the table from him, her socked toes brushing up and down his shin). He feels stupid and sluggish for not knowing what this girl is doing, for not understanding why he isn’t standing up for himself and his marriage.
Nothing has happened, of course. No. She merely makes eyes at him when no one is looking, touches him chastely beneath tables and in passing glances. She is toying with him and that’s what he hates the most. Because it’s working.
He hates her deeply, for she knows that he is married, knows that he loves Pepper and his son with all his heart. She knows that Freddie is mad for her; Kate can see it as well as anyone on the outside can, no matter how much she deflects his weak advances.
Yet she persists with Herman; Kate is always there when his thoughts drift to her—in the diner, around the corner, passing by the Security office with Amata, that darkly lupine look in her eyes.
Herman wonders why, why this good girl suddenly found an interest in him; a married and very much older man. He’s her father’s age, God damn it, and that only serves to spur her on more.
He wants to burn the images of Kate from his head, the ones he has conjured for himself in darker moments. He wants to only see Pepper in his mind—like he used to not so many years ago.
Now Pepper fades to grey even when beneath him at night, her breath in his ear and her body seething and pliant around him.
Herman began to think about Kate in those times, about how much stamina resides in those young muscles, of how she seems poured into her vault suit instead of stuffed in, of how her smile is real and huge and happy…
He has followed her tonight, waiting until she left Freddie and Amata at the diner before falling in behind her through the winding vault halls—he began taking the night patrols in a desperate attempt to avoid her ever-watching eyes during the day. It doesn’t work for long; Pepper blabs about his change in shift over Kate’s 18th birthday dinner at the Doc’s apartment.
Herman remembers Kate’s expression so clearly: the look in her eyes was so amused and heated and… predatory. They are the eyes he sees at night, when his wife is shivering beneath him.
He momentarily loses sight of Kate when she takes an unexpected turn towards the stairs leading down to the… is she going towards the Storage Room?
There is a brief moment, as he is ducking under the door and punching in the lock-code, that he wonders what he is planning to do with her.
To finally take her like she has been leading him to do? He wants to, desperately, to get the dirt and grime of her from his mind.
To confront her? He should, he wants that too, because he is tired. So tired of being confused and disgusted by the girl, by himself; of wondering what she wants from him and what will happen if he gives it to her.
To… Hurt her? He hates it, but yes, he wants that as well. She has hurt him, too deeply to say, and she will hurt Freddie. His son.