Fallout Kink Meme Part IV: Closed to prompts, open for fills.

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An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

It went without saying that those curves that set so many heads turning wherever they went even under a shapeless lab coat or her prized duster still did nothing for him, but Arcade still had an artful appreciation for the beautiful. And she'd looked harried and tired, small and drawn, her hair falling in haphazard strands from the bun she'd hurriedly tied. But somehow she'd also glowed with a white-hot brilliance whose name was justice and mercy and selflessness all at once, and even drawn so thin a woman so brave and sure seemed larger than life, larger than all of them despite barely coming up to his collarbone. She'd asked Boone, hovering a few feet behind her from habit or anxiety or lack of anything better to do, to hand her a pair of forceps, and he'd looked blankly back at her and said something self-deprecating in acknowledgment of his short-comings where "this super-doctor shit" was concerned.

She'd laughed. Laughed like she hadn't tasted Legion lead and steel a dozen times herself in the past day, laughed like she hadn't looked into so many wide and pained eyes and taken so many innocent lives when the idealistic medic in her had to be screaming that there must be another way. Either because she was really that strong or because her friends needed to see her that way to feel strong enough themselves, she'd laughed like a twenty five-year-old woman ought to laugh, freely, with untainted mirth infectious enough that even Boone managed to find another smile somewhere in him as she pointed him toward the needed forceps. Spattered in her own blood and that of dozens of other people, worn out from long days and sleepless nights on end of walking and fighting, wrist-deep in someone else's lateralus dorsii when all she must have wanted in the whole world was a long hot bath and an even longer sleep, she'd laughed in a way that eased the suffering of everyone else around her.

Her own troubles, her own suffering, it never mattered.

She was the hero the wasteland needed and the wastelanders had never ever deserved.

She was the first and only woman Arcade had ever loved this way, but he still couldn't love her the way she had every right to be loved - fully, mind and body. His heart swelled and soared when he spoke to her, in ways the rest of his anatomy would never be able to manage. In her presence he felt healthier than he ever had, but neither could ever offer the other a healthy kind of romance. The first clean and most perfect thing to ever blow into his life came with more crushing disappointments and catch-22s attached. He wanted her in ways he couldn't have her, and if he tried he could have her in ways he'd never want.

Harboring feelings like this was just another exercise in futility, but she'd already gotten under his skin too deeply to ever get her out.

His heart swelled, and broke.

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

Author-Anon here, rereading and picking apart my own work and finding myself highly disappointed in the obnoxious frequency with which variants of the word 'blood' shows up in parts of this. It sure would be nice if I could manage to not be redundant, wouldn't it?

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

nah, I didn't notice it at all until you pointed it out. And the paragraph I assume you refer to was all about blood so you kinda had to anyway.

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

A!A DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO SHUT HIS DAMN MOUTH. Just saying, never trust Google Translate, kids. Looking back, with my absolute lack of knowledge about Latin, it seems my attempt failed and will probably translate horribly if anyone else runs it through a translator or happens to read Latin well anyway.

Arcade was attempting to say "The enemy of my enemy is my friend." And would have said it perfectly well if his intellect weren't being filtered through my lack thereof.

But fuck that forever

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

Heh, you and everyone. Google translate is what we got. I doubt anyone expects A!As to be fluent in Latin ;)

Anyway, I adored this short story. It made me work hard to read it in places, due to your (pleasingly) complex sentence structure, but that's just 'cos I've gotten lazy over the years.

If you do any more stories about this Courier, I'd be certain to read them!

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

You know, in high school I failed to read A Tale of Two Cities (just like I failed to read anything that was assigned to me just on principle) mostly because I got through the first paragraph and realized the only period in it was at the end. One. Big. Sentence. I was like "Fuck you, Dickens." Not too long later, a friend who was proofreading one of my essays for me told me that my writing is about as convoluted as Dickens'. So I punched him in the mouth. (Great way to solve debates, let me tell you.)

GLAD YOU LIKED IT THOUGH. <3333

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

This is absolutely amazing. Well written, beautiful, and I'm a sucker for a sad ending, honestly. I loved it A!A. :D

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

This prompt grabbed me and your fill did it justice. When I got to the end I wanted more, but where you ended it worked. I loved it and I would love to see you write more!

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

OP here. I've been offline for quite some time so imagine my surprise when I saw that this had been filled! I couldn't be any happier with the way it turned out. I absolutely loveloveLOVE your writing style, A!A, and this was everything I could've asked for and more. It was amazing and your courier was perfect.

Thank you so much for the fill, I enjoyed it immensely and I'm so glad you decided to do it!

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

Hoolay! Since writing a fill is fulfilling someone's request for a story, I always oddly look at it as making a sort of gift for the OP. So while I love hearing what people thought of the piece, I'm always especially concerned with whether the OP liked it or not. Soooo I'm really glad you enjoyed it. :3

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

I really really liked this. Your writing style is pleasantly different and thought provoking. I really enjoyed this :) keep writing for the kink meme kid. We could use some writers like you around here :)

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

YOUR WRITING STYLE SEEMS REALLY FAMILIAR... But anyways, this was a excellently written fic. I love reading stories where characters with incompatible sexualities try to find a way and have lots of angst over that (I'm a sucker for some good angst).

Also hoping you'll write plenty more fics here on the meme!

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

It's not something I'd ever explored before. I mean, angst yes, incompatible sexualities no. Very interesting concept to me.

Hahaha. Familiar like you've read something else from me on the k!meme, or familiar like you actually might know me from somewhere?

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

It's such an interesting concept to me too, and not one I see explored often in fics or anywhere else, really. So it's always awesome to see it written well.

And I meant that I might've read something of yours on a different k!meme (though I could be totally wrong here, ahaha).

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

I've only been a filler for the past couple weeks, actually. The only other K!Meme I've submitted to is Skyrim, and even that has only begun as of this past weekend. So unless you happen to be thinking of a very very recent Skyrim fill, chances are, unfortunately, you are indeed wrong. But that's okay! Just means there's another authornon out there somewhere with similar syntax, and I can only hope that they're an awesome, awesome authornon far better than myself. Because those authornons are the best authornons.

Re: An Exercise in Futility, 4/4

[(Anonymous)]

gosh so beautifully written a!a, your arcade voice is spot on. heartbreaking and heartwarming all at once.